“Show grace, not judgment.”

The Holy Spirit whispered these words to me one day as I thought about someone who had deeply hurt me. Have you ever been there?  Someone close to you does or says something to cut you to your core, and after all the bleeding, you forgive them. Yet your forgiveness didn’t translate into behavioural change in them.

They continue to behave poorly. They still clearly lack remorse. What do you do with that? What should your heart do with that? Let’s begin with your heart. Choose to forgive; every day when you wake up and think about what they did to you, say out loud, “I forgive (insert name) for (insert what you are forgiving them for).

For one thing I know is that unforgiveness keeps you stuck and slows things down for you. To forgive is a choice you make, and you will not feel like it, but you do it anyway.  Life will present plenty of opportunities to dwell on hurt and unforgiveness, but Jesus said this when Peter asked about the topic of discussion.

Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how many times will my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered him, “I say to you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven.

We do things every day that we don’t necessarily feel like doing, like waking up early to go to work or sitting in traffic. Similarly, forgiveness is something you are called to do as a follower of Christ that you will not feel like doing.

But unlike sitting in traffic that burns your gas, it is actually good for you. It liberates you, for your heart breaks free from that prison of holding on to hurt. If you remain long enough, your heart will become hardened.

Now that’s part one, but if you got an opportunity to hurt them as they did you? Would you take it? I love how God tests our hearts. To give grace to a person who has never hurt you is one thing, but when it comes to one who has deeply injured you, it becomes far more challenging for your heart.

Here’s the thing: showing grace instead of judgment to someone who has hurt us is unnatural; we naturally feel the need to avenge ourselves. But what we forget is that God will give us justice, and his judgment is righteous.

He loves all of us and desires for all to come to repentance. His judgment has love in mind; he hopes to move the heart of the offender toward repentance.

You can help put this into motion by praying for the heart of your offender to turn away from their wrongdoings and turn toward God. After you pray, let go of the situation and leave the results up to God. He knows what to do to both you and the other party.

Remember that there are many parts of what led up to their actions that you don’t know. God understands why they do the things they do. He knows every part of their story, including their own personal struggles and what they had to walk through.

This is why He is asking you today to choose grace over judgment for the one who has hurt you.

This means choosing to be prayerful instead of critical and condemning. God knows what you are feeling. He knows how much they have hurt you. He desires to heal your heart, and he wants to heal it completely.

One of the ways that you know your healing is progressing is that you are able to extend grace instead of judgment toward those who have wronged you. Is there anyone you need to extend grace to today?

Warmly,

Nayanda